Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pregnancy Spoiler

I don't want to freak out you newly pregnant moms, but here are some things you may not know about being pregnant:

1. Leg cramps
2. Hemmorhoids
3. Hooch cramps (aka the vaginal area)
4. Heartburn (and I mean seething heartburn)
5. Sympathy from friends, family and strangers
6. NO sympathy from friends, family and strangers
7. Resentment from infertile females
8. Resentment from horny husbands/boyfriends/significant others
9. Utter amazement at how far the skin can stretch
10. Loving to eat
11. Hating to eat
12. ALL smells are nauseating
13. Horrible in the beginning, ok for a minute, horrible at the end
14. Crying for no apparent reason
15. Loathing for no apparent reason
16. Forgetting the basics, like your name
17. Socks and shoelaces are your enemy
18. Pregnancy is a great excuse for everything
19. Everyone has a pregnancy story, even if they were never pregnant
20. Pregnancy lasts for 10 months, not 9

1 comment:

  1. You said it, sister!! I'm on the last stretch of my pregnancy and I've never been so miserable in my life... it also seems like it gets more and more uncomfortable every time. I guess if the first one stunk this much, I wouldn't be sitting here today with another!!