Tuesday, June 23, 2009

10 Reasons Not to Have a Baby at Age 40

As baby boy #2 grows bigger, I've discovered a few reasons not to wait to have a child until you're the ripe old age of 40, or older:

1. You need more naps than your newborn.
2. You'll be 60+ by the time you finish paying for college.
3. You're supposed to be 40 and fabulous, not 40 and frumpy.
4. Your not-so-nubile body requires you to wear "mom" jeans.
5. You're changing diapers when you should be drinking martinis.
6. You hit your prime when your child is a teenager, in his prime.
7. That cruise for 2 to an island destination has morphed into a Disney cruise.
8. You're too old to find comfort in "this is only temporary."
9. You scarf down one meal a day and need a month of exercise to work it off.
10. You can't tell if you're experiencing post-partum or menopause.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Dazed and Confused

Turns out baby boy #2 really enjoys sleeping during the day and waking up incessantly at night. Go figure. The pediatrician tells me to try to keep him up as much as possible during the day. He's a lumpy little meatball who won't open his eyes. How am I supposed to keep him awake. I try to wake him up - he just wants to eat. So I feed him. Then what happens? He falls back to sleep. I know I should be grateful he's sleeping. At least I can get some things done, like post on here, but I really would like him to sleep longer stretches at night. I know he'll eventually turn around and it will get better. I just don't know how long things can go on this way. If babies are supposed to be sleeping 16-20 hours per day, baby boy #2 is up for those 4+ hours at night. He's constantly grunting or crying over night. Right now - you could hear a pin drop he's so quiet. Not a grunt or a groan to be found., but it is only 5:30pm. He's in deep sleep right now and it would be horrible to wake him up. Right? I even tried the bath before bedtime trick last night. I gave him a bath around 7:30pm with the hopes that he'd be stimulated for a while and then he'd be knocked out. He HATED the bath, ate, and fell asleep. I put him down, and he woke up. I rocked him and fed him some more, put him down, and he woke up. This went on for about 1 1/2 hours and then he finally gave in at about 10pm. I thought he, and I, would be down for a nice long stretch. He was up at about midnight. This went on all night. Up, down. Up, down. It's really getting quite tedious. He's eating plenty (I did make reference to a meatball earlier) so it's not that he should be starving and that's why he's waking up. I'm hoping something will change in the next week or two as he gets older/bigger. Either he'll start sleeping longer at night or I'll be much crankier than I am now.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

What Was That Noise?

I've forgotten those first few weeks of having a newborn in the house when all they do is grunt while they sleep. I had no sleep last night thanks to baby boy #2, aka the grunting machine. He was making noise all night long. It all came back to me how the little guy used to do the same thing when he was a few weeks old, only his was more of a chirp than a grunt. Baby boy #2 grunts while he's sleeping and while he's eating. Hell, he grunts for no good reason at all. He's like a little bull. He's crying again. I think the little guy woke him up again for the millionth time this week. Oh the joys of motherhood!

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Doe-Eyed Optimists

I organize a meetup group of women that are 35 or older when they have children and am finding it interesting to see how optimistic some are about their pregnancies early on and how quickly they soon deteriorate into immobile lumps waiting to explode. I say this with complete empathy and compassion because I've been there twice. It's a miserable state of existence when you reach the end of your pregnancy, and these newbies are just finding that out. I had one mom-to-be organize a walking group that was to start 3 weeks before her due date. "Are you sure?" I asked the doe-eyed optimist. "Of course. Before I got pregnant I would run 2 miles per day and weight train 3 days per week." Oh, the poor women who just don't realize what a toll being pregnant is and how hard it can be on your body. I am sure there are some women out there who continue to do everything as usual even though they are pregnant. The majority of us, though, find out what suffering is all about. This poor woman wound up contacting me to cancel her walking group because she had bad sciatica. Uh huh - been there. She also said the baby dropped and she's having a hard time walking. Yes - had that. I hate to say "I told you so" but I will. It's really something extraordinary that happens to your body when you're carrying a child. The body must adjust and compensate for things it never had to before. Having gone through it myself, I know how most pregnant women feel and I always give them that knowing smile when I see one. You know the smile - the slight grin with a nod of the head that says "I feel your pain." It's a look only a mother understands, and the doe-eyed optimists will come to understand.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Another Mental Block

Oh my God, having 2 children is killing me!! I am so sleep-deprived I think I'm losing my mind. Baby boy #2 is keeping me up around the clock. Of course, I am partially to blame because for some God-forsaken reason I have decided to breastfeed only. I didn't do this with my first. I let my husband feed him overnight with my first. Don't ask me why I'm torturing myself this go around, but I am. It seems the most I can get out of baby boy #2 is a 3 hour block of sleep. That happened a whopping one time so far - but it's now my benchmark. I usually get the 2 hour block, and honestly, that's just not enough. Even if it's 2 hours here and then 2 hours there, your body starts to react to that lack of continuous sleep. At first, it's a shock to the system so you can kind of deal with it. But when it starts happening on a daily basis, your body starts screaming out "What the hell is going on? Where's the sleep?" That's what I'm dealing with now. My body is starting to shut down because it's so tired. I can literally stand up and fix breakfast for the little guy with my eyes closed. Fortunately I don't remember how long this lasts. I have a feeling it's months - which frightens me. Just another example of how blocking things out enables the population to continue to grow. If moms remembered this stuff, no one would have babies anymore. I can vouch for that!!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Guilt Filled Days

Can someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to get anything done in a house with a 3 year old and an infant? I haven't quite figured it out yet. Baby boy #2 is 2 weeks old today and I'm at a loss as to how to get some rest and get anything done in this house when both boys are either sleeping or occupied. Well the little guy can be occupied, although not as easily these days. He is going through the phase that I was expecting. He's jealous but he loves his baby brother so he takes it out on me. He's in constant need of attention, attention that is near impossible for me to find. As I try to type this blog, I hear him coming for me in the living room. As long as baby boy #2 is sleeping, the little guy wants me to do something, anything with him or near him. I feel awfully guilty just typing this when I should probably be paying attention to him. These days are very difficult for us. He gets angry and does things that upset me and I get angry then instantly upset. I never had this problem growing up - I was the baby. I had 2 older brothers who played with each other and then annoyed the hell out of me when I got older. I have no idea what the little guy is going through or how it feels. I imagine he'll forget about it as soon as baby boy #2 gets a little bigger, but it's hard for a mom to watch now. I have stacks of things to get through, piles of mess to clean up. It all must wait until I figure out some routine that keeps both of my boys, and me, happy. I have a feeling I won't figure it out for quite some time.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Baby Boy Blues

What am I doing? I'm 40 years old. I should be having cocktails not breastfeeding an infant at all hours of the day and night . . . and day and night . . . and day and night. This is the time after pregnancy when the baby blues start to kick in for me. I'm stuck in baby prison with an infant who is incessantly hanging off one of my boobs. How hungry can this child be? And if he is that hungry, after suckling for hours, why doesn't he take longer naps in between feedings? Isn't that what you would want to do after eating for an hour? I'd be good and ready for a nice 3 or 4 hour siesta. Not baby boy #2. Oh no, he's ready to go again in about 2 hours. This is not ample time to grab something to eat and lay down for a snooze. This is ample time to grab something to eat and lay down only to get up in 5 minutes. It's like he knows I'm ready to lay down. He starts to cry as soon as I get comfortable. How does he do that? And why does he do that? Doesn't he realize I'm his food supply. I can cut him off if I wanted. I cut him off last night and gave him a bottle - my boobs needed a rest. I thought this would give me at least 3 hours of sleep. Nope - 2 hours and he's raring to go. I'll ask again - what am I doing? It's funny how the mind remembers what it wants to remember in order to protect the human race. If I honestly recalled how hard it is those first few weeks after delivery, I would not have signed on to do this again. I'm exhausted and I can't think clearly and that damn epidural headache is lingering on through some buzzing in my ears now. I just want to get some sleep, read a book, have a moment to myself. Oh wait, I must've nodded off for a second because those days are a long way off. I have a 3 year old and a newborn. I'll ask again - what am I doing?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Baby Boy #2 Has Arrived

I don't have much time, but I can report baby boy #2 arrived on Monday, Memorial Day after a fast and furious 5 hour delivery. I am incredibly relieved that it is over, but am trying desperately to forget it as well. It seems that everything that could have gone wrong did. It was an extreme case of Murphy's Law. First I waited 45 minutes to be admitted for a scheduled 7am inducement. Then the nurse inserting the needle in my arm for the IV had to try twice to get it in without it feeling like she was driving a nail in - which it did feel like anyway. Then my obstetrician came in and decided to insert a monitor into my vagina. And I thought the IV insertion was painful! Then the contractions started - not so bad at first and then I was in agony. The anesthesiologist came to insert the epidural into my spine and I wound up with a wet tap. If any of you have experienced this, you know how miserable it is. This is when the insertion of the needle punctures a membrane and a small amount of spinal fluid is released leaving your brain to sag. Honest to God that is the truth. My brain has been sagging ever since. On top of that, it felt like the epidural didn't do what it was supposed to do since I was crying in pain with each contraction, which felt continuous at this point. The good news is I went from 3 cm to 10 cm in about an hour. The bad news is I was in too much pain to push. After being topped off with some more pain medication from Dr. Kavorkian, I was able to push. I thought I'd push a couple of times and he'd pop on out. No such luck. I wound up pushing for about 1/2 hour anyway. It was incredibly painful, albeit quick, and I'm still living with a residual epidural headache. Baby boy #2 weighed in at 8 lbs. 1 oz. (I knew he was going to be 8 lbs.) and he's healthy. Very hungry, but healthy. Oh but I'll save the topic of breastfeeding for another day . . .