Are You Going for the Girl?

I hear this question over and over . . . and over again. I go places with my 2 little boys or I meet up with friends and wind up talking about our kids, but it never fails to lead to the same question - "Are you having another? Are you going to try for the girl?"

I admit I'm guilty of asking that same question to other moms. Especially ones in my situation - having all boys. I think my age (42) has determined for me that I'm just too old and tired to have another. But that doesn't stop me from asking other moms.

My typical response is, "No. I'm done. I have my hands full with these two." No sooner do the words pass my lips then the inner dialogue ensues. I really would love to have a little girl. Those baby dresses are just so adorable. My boys are bigger now. They really want to spend more time with hubs than with me. Maybe having a third wouldn't be so bad. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

The responses I get from other moms vary. I have quite a few friends who have 2 boys and have called it a day there. I call them my soul sisters. They love their boys and say they're perfectly fine having just two, but deep down in their souls they want that girl.

I have other friends who go for the third, and sometimes fourth, and wind up with another boy (or two). Bless their hearts.

I'm not sure what it is about mothers and the child count. Do we ask to find validation in our own decisions about having another? Do we want to live vicariously through someone else since we've decided to not have any more? Are we envious? Or are we jealous?

Either way, we can't guarantee another child. Nor can we determine the sex of that child. All we can do is ask the question, "So, are you going to have another?"