Saturday, May 16, 2009

Due Date Minus 9 Days

I took my miserable, cranky, uncomfortable, unable to walk self to the high risk group of doctors yesterday for my final ultrasound. And it better be final - I just can't take anymore of this. The tech does her thing - pushing and poking and moving that thing around to get the shots she needs - and does her measuring and her commenting. All the while I'm writhing in pain because she's pushing that tool down pretty hard on my belly button (which is basically non-existent these days but still hurts) and baby boy #2 is moving around in a space where there is just no room to move around. There are limbs and hineys poking out of my abdominal area at random moments during the scan - talk about uncomfortable. Amniotic fluid looks good, heartbeat looks good, head is down and face is down. Everything looks good. OK, that's a relief. Then the doctor comes in. A man. And let me preface this again by saying he's a man . . . who's never had a baby. He takes that damn tool and starts pushing and poking around to see the baby and now baby boy #2, for some reason, is really moving around in there. Every once in a while, the doctor says, "Ooh. That was a little kick." or "Yeah, he's moving around in there." NO KIDDING!!!! I'm in agony here. Can you please help me out? Dim wit thinks I'll be back for another scan in 2 weeks. Uhm, if you look at my chart again, you'll see I'm due in 10 days. So he figures since this will be the last scan, he better get a baby measurement. More poking and prodding, more writhing on my part and then he comes back with 7 lbs. 7 oz. OK, now I start to get nervous. The little guy was 7 lbs. 2 oz. and that was fine. If baby boy #2 is already bigger, I'm in trouble. I don't want a big baby. I want a healthy baby but not a big baby that's just not gonna fit through my tunnel. You ladies understand. Then the doctor does something I consider to be really stupid. He starts talking about pre-eclampsia and that the blood pressure pills I'm taking could be masking any pre-eclampsia I might have and that I could have seizures if I did have pre-eclampsia. This MAN has apparently no common sense when it comes to dealing with a miserable, cranky woman who is 39 weeks pregnant. Does he think I want to hear about anything else that could potentially go wrong? Do I want to hear about seizures when I'm hanging on by a thread here? I'm looking for inducement and you're giving me a death sentence. WTF is wrong with this MAN???? Then he says "But everything looks ok so I guess you'll just finish out until your due date." Thanks the F*#@ a lot, moron. Now I'm completely freaked out that I could have pre-eclampsia but the meds are hiding it and I could also have a seizure at any given moment. On top of that, if I don't have a spontaneous seizure, I have to push out a large child - which is going to be painful. The next 9 days should be great! It'll be smooth sailing until my due date thanks to you, you friggin' knucklehead. I want sympathy, compassion, mind-easing. Not hard up facts about worst-case scenarios. But then again, this is a man I'm dealing with. Need I say more?

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