Sunday, August 8, 2010
Wasting Life Away Worrying
As I was sitting on the couch tonight holding the 4 year old on my lap as he fell asleep, I realized how much I worry about my kids. I'm a worrier in general - I can worry about anything that pops into my head this second. I'm worried about taking the kids to the eye doctor tomorrow - see what I mean? It just popped into my head. I was thinking that my little boy is already 4, and a big 4 at that, and I wonder how fast time will really go. I thought of school and high school and then moving out on his own - all in a matter of seconds. It turned my stomach. I want my boys to be strong, independent and capable. At the same time, I'm terrified of what the world can and will do to them. I have these horrible thoughts of them being harmed by random gunfire or barfights gone bad or a mandatory draft for some god forsaken war - all that stuff you hear about on the news that you never think will touch your life personally, until it does. I suppose any parent can worry about these things, but what good does worrying do? I don't want to shelter them and keep them too close, but I'm terrified of what could happen when I let them go. It's a frightening thought to let your children make their way in the world, in today's world, but I'm sure my parents felt the same way as I was growing up. So far I'm okay. I can only hope and pray tragedy doesn't fall upon my family. But why shouldn't it? See - I'm worried.