Monday, June 8, 2009

Guilt Filled Days

Can someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to get anything done in a house with a 3 year old and an infant? I haven't quite figured it out yet. Baby boy #2 is 2 weeks old today and I'm at a loss as to how to get some rest and get anything done in this house when both boys are either sleeping or occupied. Well the little guy can be occupied, although not as easily these days. He is going through the phase that I was expecting. He's jealous but he loves his baby brother so he takes it out on me. He's in constant need of attention, attention that is near impossible for me to find. As I try to type this blog, I hear him coming for me in the living room. As long as baby boy #2 is sleeping, the little guy wants me to do something, anything with him or near him. I feel awfully guilty just typing this when I should probably be paying attention to him. These days are very difficult for us. He gets angry and does things that upset me and I get angry then instantly upset. I never had this problem growing up - I was the baby. I had 2 older brothers who played with each other and then annoyed the hell out of me when I got older. I have no idea what the little guy is going through or how it feels. I imagine he'll forget about it as soon as baby boy #2 gets a little bigger, but it's hard for a mom to watch now. I have stacks of things to get through, piles of mess to clean up. It all must wait until I figure out some routine that keeps both of my boys, and me, happy. I have a feeling I won't figure it out for quite some time.

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