Thursday, November 29, 2012

Then vs. Now

I'm not sure what's going on with me, but I've been in a bit of a funk all week.
I did a little Christmas decorating, wrote a few Christmas cards, even finished shopping for everyone but my 13 year old niece. Yet, I have the holiday blues - or I'm fighting off a cold and just feel blah.
I was feeling a bit sad on Thanksgiving. I didn't see my family at all that day. My mom was sick so she and my dad stayed home. I never see my brothers on Thanksgiving. I didn't host this year so there was no stressing and cooking. We went to my in-laws for a quiet afternoon. It made me a bit melancholy.
I think the holidays do that for a lot of us. We remember past Christmases, perhaps of our youth, where everything is seen through rose-colored glasses. This time of year was always exciting for me back then. Suddenly there were decorations and lights everywhere in the house. We made a list for Santa of the new toys we wanted. Right after Thanksgiving, my brothers would set up those great Lionel trains on a designated area on the floor, and we'd play with that for hours.
Ah, youth. I do miss those days.
My mother, however, remembers it differently. She was a working mom, so she was always rushed and stressed. How to get it all done? There just wasn't enough time in the day. I'm a stay at home mom. I have a bit more time. She had 3 kids whereas I have 2. She had a sick mother living downstairs that she tended to. I don't. I can see why she would have been stressed this time of year.
I'm not sure why I'm not enjoying it more. I try to see the excitement through my boys' eyes. And it is working . . . most of the time. I suppose the rest of the time I'll put on a happy face and think of the good old days.

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