Friday, February 12, 2010
As Valentine's Day approaches, I realize the unconditional love of a child and how precious that is. I'm not sure how long this unconditional love will last, because I know as children grow they tend to think for themselves and realize your decisions for them are not always what they want - and then they resent you . . . for a long time. But for now, no matter how irrational you are or how selfish you can be, your children love you. If the decisions you make cause them tears, they forgive you 5 seconds later. It's really special, a child's love. We must all remember not to take that for granted, especially me.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I'm slowly beginning to realize how difficult it is to have more than 1 child. I'm ridden with guilt these days and I'm not sure what to do about it. Ever since baby boy #2 came along, I am constantly yelling at his big brother. He always seems to be doing something wrong or just plain old not listening. I have to ask him to do something or stop doing something about 5 times before he actually does it. I have to threaten him with time-outs and turning off the TV. I never thought I'd be one of those moms that you see on TV and read about who yells at their child and says things you can't believe they say to their child - but I think I am. I hate to admit it, and it's killing me, but I have no patience for my first-born. The strange thing is I hear from friends that the opposite is true - they think their first-born can do no wrong and resent the baby. That would make sense, but that's not what's going on in my house. I LOVE my first-born but fear I'm favoring the baby because, well, he's a baby . . . and probably my last baby. I did so much with my first-born before the baby arrived - took him parks and classes, did crafty projects, played. Now it seems like I'm yelling at him all day long, and I hate it. I just don't know how to stop doing it. When I put the baby down for a nap, I want to get stuff done around the house that needs to get done. It's the only time I have to do it. Believe me, I've put things off for a long time. I don't think I can't afford to put them off much longer. So instead of doing a project together or playing for a while, I plop him in front of the television or a computer game. Horrible - I know!! Then I feel massive amounts of guilt at the end of the day for treating him as I did. I think I'm messing him up and he's going to need tons of therapy to get over this. My father insists he won't remember, but I have an inkling he will. And he'll resent me for the rest of my life. This is yet something else no one tells you about before you have children. This parenting gig is just way too hard!
Monday, February 1, 2010
I missed the 20/20 report on the John Edwards scandal, but I hear it's better than reading a juicy novel. I'm not too sure how I feel about the aide, Andrew Young, who wrote the book about Edwards though. I have mixed feelings I suppose. I imagine most, if not all, of what he contends is true since he was the aide throughout the whole ordeal. I just have a problem with his motivation. He was basically an accomplice in the entire scandal, pretending to be the father of the mistress' baby, housing her, going along with the scheme. Now he's revealing all for what? Money I suppose. If Edwards had kept him on in some capacity as an "employee" than he wouldn't have written the book? Money is the motivation behind everything these days, and I think it's setting a poor example for our children. How about doing what's right because it's the right thing to do? Not because you can make millions. Why didn't Young do what was right at the time? He knew the difference between right and wrong. Are we supposed to overlook his part in the wrongdoing because NOW he's coming clean? I don't think he should get a pass in the name of a tell-all book. I think he should be condemned for his participation in a web of lies. He is just as responsible for the situation as Edwards and the mistress because he knew about it and did nothing. Isn't that the lesson we teach our children? If you see or know something that's bad or wrong, you should do the right thing and tell an adult. At what age does this rule no longer apply? When you're old enough to write a book and get published, making money for yourself and the publishing company? While I would normally be tuned in watching this train wreck unfold, I still take issue with the reason it's unfolding. I probably shouldn't support it in any way, even watching it seems to make me an accomplice of sort, but at least I'm not profiting from it.